Killed For Less

“I would totally smoke you if you died.”

- iChat via Janna

Partly quoted from KFL™ ’s official mission statement.

Let’s just hope he does more than just boost morale. And shit, we cheer for him when he drives in runs against the Mariners anyways. Maybe he can levitate like Beltre.

Griffey Jr…. don’t call it a comeback. [Seattle PI]

I think this is kinda old, but I thought I’d share. Not even sure how much it got around. Either way, enjoy.

For many of you, this post will ruin your day, your week, and possibly your whole life.

This blog, along with others, has a long and proud history of Joose advocacy. We go way back. Google search for “Joose Seattle.” We’re right there. That is why, when I read this post on Publik Hair, I was so devastated. Yesterday, the Diamond Jew discovered via his local Korean grocer that the thing which we have most feared is becoming real: Joose is getting banned from Seattle.

I didn’t want to believe it, so I did a little digging, only to confirm the nightmare. Via a city ruling back on January 14th, Joose is getting added to to banned products list in Seattle’s Alcohol Impact Areas, effective March 1st, 2009. Also getting the boot: Big Bear, Camo Black Ice, Bootlegger, and Maximum Ice.

Here is a link to the city’s issue paper which gives you the basics of the ruling. There is also a more detailed agreement between the city and the distributors which has a few interesting tidbits. First and most importantly, there is unlikely to be a replacement for Joose:

6. Columbia, Odom, K&L, and the City agree to meet as needed to discuss any products of concern or other issues involving the chronic public inebriate problem within the AIA boundaries. The parties shall meet prior to the distribution or sale of the following types of products within the AIA boundaries: (1) any new product that has caffeine, ginseng, or taurine and alcohol if the alcohol content is over 6.6%, or (2) any new malt beverage product packaged in single-serve containers if the alcohol content is over 6.0%. Products that meet either of these criteria must be approved by all parties to this agreement before they may be sold within the AIA boundaries.

Also, after March 1st you won’t be able to buy a 40oz of Mickeys between the hours of 6am and 1pm.

1. Columbia, Odom, and K&L will request that all of their customers and retail sellers located in the Central Core AIA and North AIA boundaries agree not to sell alcoholic beverages in packages with fewer than six individual containers (e.g. single-serve products) between 6:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. This restriction will be known as the Single-Serve Ban.

Let’s call a spade a spade: This is fucking Prohibition, the sequel. But you can fight back, Seattle!

1. Here is a map of the current Alcohol Impact Areas. Basically anything south of I-90 (Beacon Hill) and north of Aloha is fair game. Launchpad and Nicofish are OG locs at this Joose-serving gas-station in Beacon Hill which should still have Joose for sale past March 1st.
2. Stockpile that shit like Mad Max.
3. ???
4. Profit!

Holy shit. I used to think my friend’s ex was the craziest bitch ever. I was wrong. So terribly wrong.

One-night stand man wakes to find lover has carved her name into his arm [Daily Mail]

Luckily it won’t hurt his image with Obey selling like crazy in the Nordstrom’s sale bins. But this is what got the votes I’ll just shut up and say thank you.

Full story here. [Seattle PI]