Killed For Less

imma boss

For many of you, this post will ruin your day, your week, and possibly your whole life.

This blog, along with others, has a long and proud history of Joose advocacy. We go way back. Google search for “Joose Seattle.” We’re right there. That is why, when I read this post on Publik Hair, I was so devastated. Yesterday, the Diamond Jew discovered via his local Korean grocer that the thing which we have most feared is becoming real: Joose is getting banned from Seattle.

I didn’t want to believe it, so I did a little digging, only to confirm the nightmare. Via a city ruling back on January 14th, Joose is getting added to to banned products list in Seattle’s Alcohol Impact Areas, effective March 1st, 2009. Also getting the boot: Big Bear, Camo Black Ice, Bootlegger, and Maximum Ice.

Here is a link to the city’s issue paper which gives you the basics of the ruling. There is also a more detailed agreement between the city and the distributors which has a few interesting tidbits. First and most importantly, there is unlikely to be a replacement for Joose:

6. Columbia, Odom, K&L, and the City agree to meet as needed to discuss any products of concern or other issues involving the chronic public inebriate problem within the AIA boundaries. The parties shall meet prior to the distribution or sale of the following types of products within the AIA boundaries: (1) any new product that has caffeine, ginseng, or taurine and alcohol if the alcohol content is over 6.6%, or (2) any new malt beverage product packaged in single-serve containers if the alcohol content is over 6.0%. Products that meet either of these criteria must be approved by all parties to this agreement before they may be sold within the AIA boundaries.

Also, after March 1st you won’t be able to buy a 40oz of Mickeys between the hours of 6am and 1pm.

1. Columbia, Odom, and K&L will request that all of their customers and retail sellers located in the Central Core AIA and North AIA boundaries agree not to sell alcoholic beverages in packages with fewer than six individual containers (e.g. single-serve products) between 6:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. This restriction will be known as the Single-Serve Ban.

Let’s call a spade a spade: This is fucking Prohibition, the sequel. But you can fight back, Seattle!

1. Here is a map of the current Alcohol Impact Areas. Basically anything south of I-90 (Beacon Hill) and north of Aloha is fair game. Launchpad and Nicofish are OG locs at this Joose-serving gas-station in Beacon Hill which should still have Joose for sale past March 1st.
2. Stockpile that shit like Mad Max.
3. ???
4. Profit!

Somebody googled this question and ended up at our blog.

My son, the short answer is “yes.”

Don’t forget your limited edition tees for under 5 bones that you can get “like now”. Production on these are money.

Mr. Chi City teaches you how to get more women by having your fridge properly stocked.

He can also teach you how to put 24s on your Chevy Caprice.

Only five more years to go, Launchpad.

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I know of a woman with whom you have had sexual intercourse. I too have had sexual intercourse with said woman and she complained to me of your less-than-exempleary performance in bed. She went on to explain to me, in graphic detail, the dimensions and particulars of your genitals, and I tell you what she said was not very generous, sir.

Via the always-amazing todayandtomorrow

Mezco Toyz’ Gangsta Babies

Collect all four!